Madame Web

To keep the Spider-Man licence active Sony Pictures is required to create a new entry into the Sony Spider-verse every 5 years & 9 months. And boy oh boy does that show with their latest entry, Madame Web, helmed by Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney & Adam Scott.

Sitting outside of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Madame Web introduces audiences to a cast of new spider-enhanced characters. Or does it? Set in 2003 we meet Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson), a New York City paramedic who we come to learn can see glimpses into the future. These visions then lead Cassie on a quest to protect three teenage girls from an evil Spider-Man-like villain. All the while uncovering her past & powers.

Now, while that sounds like a reasonable platform for a superhero movie that is about as close as we get to the genre. We don't even get to see Madame Web, either Spider-Woman or Araña with their full abilities or suits aside from a very brief dream sequence.

Instead, Madame Web takes more cues from thriller & horror films such as Final Destination or Friday The 13th. Not only does this film incorporate plot tropes like jump scares, dream sequences, & menacing unstoppable villains but it also takes the campy presentation of the late 90s, & early 00s thrillers.

On the presentation front, the film again fails spectacularly in regards to unlikable acting performances, cringy dialogue & cheap, direct-to-DVD quality CGI. The most egregious of these flaws is the use of sloppy ADR (Automated Dialogue Replacement) for the film's villain. Not only is the sound of these replaced lines poor quality but the film doesn't even try to hide it by obscuring Ezekiel's mouth or face in these moments.

Finally, the implementation of the premonitions & time skipping for an incredibly convoluted story. It's often difficult to tell if what you're witnessing is really happening or a vision & then suddenly it's revealed in an always disappointing manner, leaving the entire film seem meaningless.

If only Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, or hell even the Sony Executives, had Madame Web's psychic abilities, then we could have avoided this messy spider's web of a film.

 
 

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Emma Salmon - The Black Light